Yeah, well, this is probably what my life will be about for the next... hmmm.... 8 years :-( . Had our 'parent-teacher' interviews last night............. Now see, again, I don't have the standard problems that most mum's of teenage girls struggle with..... NO, I have a child (let's call her C) whom the teachers adore and who is easygoing, but who is disliked by the Queen Bee in class. How do you explain to a teacher that no intervention from them will make it better, it will probably only worsen the situation. Up to now, the teachers haven't been informed of the situation, but they have picked up on it over the past couple of months.
Now this little miss Queen Bee's mum is absolutely over the moon because her high maintenance daughter is suddenly friends with the 'good girls' in class, which is causing me, mum of one of the 'good girls' , sleepless nights. She has joined the group about 4 months ago.
So "what exactly is happening?", you may ask. Well, little miss Queen Bee wants to rule the world, so she has given C a set of rules to adhere to and certain things she needs to change about herself..... or else, sorry you're not good enough for me and the group you've been in for 3 years. It is soooooo stupid and trivial that my 14 year old (and her 12 year old sister) is laughing about it. It is all about C not 'serving' and 'worshipping' the Queen Bee - not that she called it that, but that is exactly what it is.
What are the other 'good girls' doing? They are too scared to be left out of the group, so they ignore it most of the times, instead of speaking up and defending her.
Two of the teachers have started to realize that something is going on which is making C uncomfortable in class. So, last night they wanted to know from me why C has stopped contributing to class discussions. I had to tell them that she is being ostracized by the Queen Bee and that she is feeling very vulnerable in class. If she does speak up in class, Queen Bee's eyes roll heavenwards and C has to explain yet again after class why she is 'up herself'. So C has decided to take the easy way out - she keeps her mouth shut, but the teachers don't like it AT ALL.
So there I was last night, trying to explain to them that there is no easy solution to the problem, but they want to solve this, because it is influencing C's contribution to class. Little miss Queen Bee is obviously well known throughout the school, for all the wrong reasons! Their Maths and Science teacher even told me that she has told the Queen Bee's mum that even though Queen Bee is now friends with the 'good girls' , it hasn't rubbed off on her yet :-) There is obviously huge problems in Queen Bee's life and I am just glad that I am not her mum!
They are going to talk to C today to see if they can teach her to use 'one liners' in situations concerning Queen Bee. I just don't know if my daughter will do it, because she sticks to the fact that she feels that it is not worth it to get involved in a confrontation that is leading nowhere. Even though C is very, very strong and not influenced by the situation other than keeping her mouth shut in class, teachers feel that they can still teach her how to put Queen Bee back between the worker bees.
Oh, my goodness, they are going to stick their hands in a beehive today.....
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2 comments:
wow, I feel so bad for your duaghter!
you know maybe the little bee needs a slap across the face by a peer!
Might wake her up.
Personally If I was principal and she was really disprutive I might consider asking the parent to find another school for her!
Tough situation.
glad to see you writing can't wiat to hear more about this one!
Have you heard anything from Lorraine?
she hasnt written in weeks...
Thanks for the support. There is one positive thing arising from this situation and that is the fact that my daughter is getting tougher by learning how to handle this. I don't think she'll ever be able to learn how to retaliate. It is just not who she is there is nothing one can do about it. She handles it by ignoring it and walking away.
Anyway, Lorraine had a hand operation - not exactly sure what for and I know she has definitely started the hat making business, so I think she is just very busy making hats :-)
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