I have never even considered going on a parenting course, but I am starting to have serious thoughts about that one. I really, really don't need to get tips on how to handle my own 14 year old, but ....
I NEED TO HAVE A QUICK COURSE ON HOW TO HANDLE OTHER MUMS' TEENAGE GIRLS BEFORE I DO SOMETHING IRRESPONSIBLE
This is my easy-going 14 year old girl in a nutshell:
- No slamming of door's ever, and I mean EVER.
- No sulking, EVER
- Very happy-go-lucky and easy to get along with
- One day PMS every month, which results in her being less chatty and that is ALL
- Loves people and makes friends wherever she goes
So, while the bitchiness and gossiping is going on, she leaves the group and walks away. Now everyone is fine with that while the fight is on, but as soon as the fight is over, they need something to occupy themselves with, so what do some of them do... turn on her ... because she didn't take sides in the fight.... Oh my goodness... Now it's all about her not contributing to the group.
And all she keeps on saying to me is: "Mum, why are girls so complicated? Boys are so much easier to get along with!" Well, you see, that is exactly why we had the boyfriend issue. Madam realized that it was much easier with a boy as a best friend, but didn't realize how hard it was going to be to keep it from growing into something other than friendship
What advice do I need to give her? I can't tell her to get involved, because, she is actually acting mature by not getting involved, because it is usually about some or other trivial issue not worth getting involved in in the first place. I can't tell her to leave the group, because there are some very nice girls in the group with whom she really are good friends.
It is as if my girl and I are both living in a world we sometimes don't understand.... A lot of the times, I avoid friendship with certain ladies, because of all the emotional stuff I just don't get. And I don't mean straight forward issues and hang ups, I mean the extreme sensitivity of some women. I do things wrong, without even noticing. But, it is easy for me, I don't need to be part of a group, and I can choose who I want to be friends with, but not her. The whole social scene at school is group orientated, and even if she doesn't need a group (which she doesn't), she has to be part of one to survive high school. Don't get me wrong, she operates well within a group, as long as she is allowed to not always get involved, which se isn't :-(
I just hope that things will get easier as all the girls mature and grow up. This mum is just not equipped to handle these situations, because quite frankly, this mum doesn't GET IT.
2 comments:
Ha! and they start young with all that emotional stuff too!!!
Princess 1 also always gets caught in the middle.
Sometimes I advise her to fight back, real hard, and sometimes I advise her to just ignore the whole lot.
It is difficult and there is no right or wrong.
You do the best your gut instinct tells you, and hope it will be OK.
You know what they say, hindsight is the best science!
Hi,I found your blog through Lorraine's (who am I ) and I just wanted to tell you that I was the same way as a teenager,much more mature,and I didn't care for the "you have to do what we do thing" I chose to be me,I still choose to be me and I'm doing ok,your daughter will too,she seems to be making choices that she feels are right for her,I give her a lot of credit because it IS hard to do.
I don't think there really is anything you can do to really help her,unfortunately those other teenage girls haven't learned to be individuals yet,hopefully your daughter will set a good example for them! She sounds like a dream come true..cherish the fact that she doesn't always follow others..It means you did something really right! I just feel bad that she needs to go through this stuff,but she sounds like a surviver,and this will only make her stronger.
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